Rachel’s Reflections

It’s Christmas Day. Hurrah! (That’s pronounced Hur-ay, not Hur-ah, by the way. We’re American here, not British.)

But speaking of British, I just finished reading A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. That would be the complete and unabridged version, which is really quite interesting. And I found a part I’d like to share which I think captures the season for those of us in the military and away from family on this day. Here it is:

Again the Ghost [of Christmas Present] sped on, above the black and heaving sea–on, on–until, being far away, as he told Scrooge, from any shore, they lighted on a ship. They stood beside the helmsman at the wheel, the lookout in the bow, the officers who had the watch, dark, ghostly figures in their several stations, but every man among them hummed a Christmas tune, or had a Christmas thought, or spoke below his breath to his companions of some bygone Christmas Day, with homeward hopes belonging to it. And every man on board, waking or sleeping, good or bad, had had a kinder word for one another on that day in the year, and had shared to some extent in its festivities, and had remembered those he cared for at a distance, and had known that they delighted to remember him.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

And to those of you who stand the watch, I salute you (imagine me with a glass raising a toast to you–that’s the idea–like at the Navy Birthday Ball).

And to all of us, yet again from A Christmas Carol, in the words of Tiny Tim: “God bless Us, Every One!”

Merry Christmas

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I almost missed Timothy’s birthday!

So let me give him public birthday greetings. And I hope he has a very happy day.

I love you, Tim.

Have a happy day.

Love, your sister.

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It’s been awhile since I posted.  I do have an excuse.  I’ve been sick.  I still am, but at least I’m getting better now.  But last week I was feeling really bad.  I missed (parts of) two days of work, and anyone who knows anything about the military knows that that doesn’t happen often.  Someone has to be really sick.  Even to get one day off.

Monday I was allowed to go home early, but it didn’t help.  I got worse.  Tuesday I was told to go to Medical.  I didn’t want to, because I thought they’d just send me back to work.  If that was the case, why leave work and go waste an hour or two waiting in line at Medical and seeing the doctor?  Why not just stay at work and get my work done and go home?  But I was just sitting in my chair staring at the wall, not being aware of much around me, not being capable of being aware of much around me.  So they (my colleagues and supervisor) made me go.  And lo and behold Medical didn’t make me go back to work.  They made me SIQ (sick in quarters–in other words, they sent me home).  On my ship they wouldn’t let you be SIQ unless you had over 101F temperature.  I knew I didn’t have that high a fever.  It turned out I did have a fever, but it was 99F.  And since my average temperature runs low, the equivalent was probably higher.

So anyway I went home.  And very gradually I’ve been getting well.  I was diagnosed with “acute upper respiratory infection”  which in the vernacular means “the respiratory crud.”  Or a bad cold.  A really bad cold.  I don’t know what the “acute” part means, but they put that on the paper they fill out when you see the doctor and then put in your medical record.  And I didn’t have to wait as long as I expected, either.  Maybe they had me jump the line.  Or maybe it wasn’t that long.

I missed two weeks of Tae-kwon-do, too, which doesn’t make me happy.  Not only did I pay for those classes, but they’re fun, too, and I was just getting caught up to the other students who’d started before me.  Now I’ll have to catch up again.

This is me rambling because I don’t really have anything to say.

One last item of personal news:  Jeremy is gone again.  He was gone for a week attending a conference in California, came back on a Sunday and the following Thursday was gone again, this time to a ship.  He’ll be there until March.  So I will spend Christmas alone this year.  Along with how many other of my fellow sailors and soldiers, etc?  And how about their families back home?  It can be hard this time of year.  For all of us.  So if you have any extra prayers for us this time of year, you can offer them, only don’t just pray for me, pray for all of us.  There’s a lot of families separated these holidays.  There’s a lot of people spending Christmas in a tent or on a ship and working, even in harm’s way.  (Jeremy almost certainly won’t be in harm’s way, in case you were wondering–there’s not much out there that will mess with an American warship, or would even be able to mess with an American warship.)

Ok, and now that I’ve made both mothers worried….

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Today is my nephew’s birthday. He is six years old. His mom has a party planned and my mom, his Grandma, is coming along with my brother, his uncle. So I hope he has a very wonderful day!

It’s hard to believe he’s so old. I remember when his mom was expecting him and now he’s six. And in kindergarten and doing quite well. He’s a little boy now. It’s hard to believe.

Here’s a silly poem for him in honor of this day (I know it’s bad poetry–deal):

Happy Birthday to Bryce

He’s smarter than Douglas Adams’ mice

His aunt is not a poet

And he can tell by reading this poem.

Bryce will probably say “Huh?” but his parents should get a kick out of it. And explain it to him. (If you don’t understand the reference, just substitute “a bunch of mice”–it works, just not as well). Of course, his aunt thinks his parents have nothing better to do than to Explain the World to their son. She’s right, right?

So, Happy Birthday, Bryce.

Love from your Aunt Rachel

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The following is rather a devotional, something I learned today and would like to share with you if you will permit.

I’ve been reading through the book of Hebrews. It’s a very interesting book, and I’ve been getting a lot out of it. In chapter 11 is the “Hall of Faith” and I read this verse today:

And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak…. (vs 32, first part)

I looked these guys up. Their stories can be found in Judges 6 and Judges 4 respectively. So these men are supposed to be heroes and models of faith? What are their stories? I wasn’t familiar with Barak (whose name means blessing by the way–compare Mubarrak, which is Arabic and means blessing or one who is blessed), but who among us who was raised on Bible stories can ever forget Gideon and his band of 300 men?

When I read the stories today, I was trying to answer the question: “tell what struggle the person faced. How did God strengthen his faith for his task?” as per the Bible study book I’m working out of.

So this is what I noticed:

Gideon first.

The Israelites were being oppressed by a people called the Midianites. When they cried out to God he told them by way of a prophet that they had brought it on themselves through their disobedience. But the story doesn’t stop there. Next we see the Angel of the Lord meeting Gideon who was threshing wheat in a winepress in order to hide it from the Midianites. This tells me something right away. Mainly that Gideon fears the Midianites. They’re big, mean, and nasty and Gideon doesn’t want to so much as attract their attention. He wouldn’t be threshing wheat in so inconvenient a place as a winepress if he weren’t convinced Bad Things would happen if the Midianites knew what he was doing. So these weren’t people to mess around with, and Gideon was not a brave man.

So what happens next? The Angel of the Lord addresses Gideon: “The LORD is with you, you mighty man of valor!”

Wait, I thought we’d established Gideon was fearful. Definitely not bold and courageous, much less valorous. Do you think this Angel had the wrong guy?

How does Gideon respond? According to the center column reference notes in my Bible he starts by addressing him as one would respectfully address a man–Lord. He says, “If the LORD is with us, then why has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about, saying, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt?’ But now the LORD has forsaken us and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites.”

Good questions, Gideon. I have asked those same questions before myself. If God is with me then why does he let bad things happen to me? He can prevent them, so why doesn’t He? Gideon doesn’t think God is with him; he thinks God has forsaken Him. That God has abandoned him. That God has given up. Quit. Let the enemy win. That He doesn’t care. That His hand is against Gideon and his people. And if the Almighty’s hand is against one, then it is impossible to prevail. I know I have felt like that before.

Gideon isn’t just afraid. He’s frustrated and hopeless and maybe even angry at God. So how does the Angel respond? “Go in this might of yours, and you shall save Israel from the hand of the Midianites. Have I not sent you?”

Whoa. Heavy words. From “God is with you” to “What do you mean? God has abandoned us. He doesn’t care. Maybe He used to, but not any more” to “So you will save Israel. Have I not sent you?” Um…no…at least I’m not a good choice.

Here’s how Gideon responds. First, he recognizes he’s in the presence of deity. Only God sends people, at least for crazy missions like this. He says, “O my Lord [address to deity according to the center column reference], how can I save Israel? Indeed my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.”

You’ve got the wrong guy, God. Not only am I afraid and all that other stuff, but I’m a nobody. Not important. The youngest of the youngest. The poorest of the poor. Nobody would listen to me. I don’t have might or power or valor. None of that. You’ve got the wrong guy.

“And the LORD said to him, ‘Surely I will be with you, and you shall defeat the Midianites as one man.’”

Wow. Really? As one man? And God would be with him? You all know the story, how he defeated the Midianites with only three hundred men. It would be worth it if you haven’t done it in awhile to read the rest of the chapter and the following one and see his journey from fearfulness to courage and doubting to faith. It will be instructive.

But next Barak.

This happened during an earlier time but it’s almost the same thing. The Israelites had done evil and God “sold them into the hand” of an oppressor. This time it was Jabin king of Canaan and the general of his army, Sisera. After twenty years of this with the people crying out to God, Deborah, a prophetess and who was judging Israel at that time (the closest they had to a central, unified leader) sent for Barak. She told him, “Has not the LORD God of Israel commanded, ‘Go and deploy troops at Mount Tabor; take with you ten thousand men of the sons of Naphtali and of the sons of Zebulun; and against you I will deploy Sisera, the commander of Jabin’s army, with his chariots [he had 900 of them--of iron] and his multitude at the River Kishon; and I will deliver him into your hand’?”

So, what does God want now? For Barak to command an army of 20,000 men against one with superior numbers and superior technology and superior “firepower”? I think the “shock and awe” in this case could reasonably be expected to be on Sisera’s side, not Barak’s. And yet God tells him to do it and tells him right up front how difficult it will be. It would be reasonable for Barak to be afraid. Anyone would be. It would be reasonable to think it couldn’t be done, that Barak and his men are “cannon fodder,” will be “toast.”

So how does he respond? “If you [Deborah] will go with me, then I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go!”

Wow. Sounds like he’s saying, “I’m too scared to go by myself, but I know you have an “in” with God, so if you come, I’ll do it, because I’ll probably be okay then.” This guy is leading an army? Not the most inspiring of leaders, is he? I would say he’s definitely fearful.

So how does Deborah respond? “I will surely go with you; nevertheless there will be no glory for you in the journey you are taking, for the LORD will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.”

Ouch. As far as I know it’s universal that men don’t like to be upstaged by a woman. So I’m guessing that Barak didn’t like this very much. Probably didn’t like it at all. But yet it happened just that way. Barak’s army did defeat Sisera’s, but Sisera was killed by a woman named Jael who drove a tent peg through his temples. Pretty grisly. And there was no honor for Barak. I remembered the story of the tent peg (and Deborah) but didn’t remember that Barak was the general during that time.

And the point is….

So my question is, what is the difference between Barak and Gideon? Why did one get “glory” but the other didn’t? They were both fearful men. They both were given a task to do by God that seemed huge and incredibly difficult and even impossible. God asked both of them to do something that could have gotten them killed. They both, at least at the beginning of their stories seemed to lack both courage and faith.

So what’s the difference? Why was there a “reprimand” for Barak but not for Gideon? Does God “punish” fearfulness? I would say not. Gideon was fearful, but there was no “reprimand” for him.

I thought about this and came to the conclusion that the difference lies not in the men’s emotions but in their responses. Barak responded by setting conditions, dictating terms. “I won’t go unless you, Deborah, come with me.”

I think that’s the answer. Dictating terms. God doesn’t like us to dictate terms. It wasn’t the fear or the anger or the hopelessness or the doubting. Gideon felt all those and yet God was very patient with him. God knows we are human; He knows we are weak; He knows we have emotions, powerful emotions, even “bad” emotions that can overwhelm us at times and dictate our actions. And He understands. He’s patient with us in those. He doesn’t condemn; He doesn’t reject; He accepts us and love us and works with us. But what He doesn’t tolerate is presumption, pride. Read through the Psalms and the Proverbs. There are many references throughout those two books that God hates pride and even David says presumption is great transgression. And in Peter (1 Peter 5:5) it says that God resists the proud. If all this is true perhaps Barak got off lightly. After all he still defeated the enemy army; he just didn’t kill the leader. God still used him mightily.

I thought about this presumption. This, “I’ll only obey IF…” In our world we know this is wrong, even in our dealings human with human. What parent would be happy if their child were always saying things like, “I’ll only pick up my toys IF you let me stay up half an hour later,” or “I won’t go to bed UNLESS you let me watch my favorite movie.” Such a child is definitely not submitted to his parent’s authority or leadership. And which of us would say such things to our bosses? “I refuse to [do the task you've assigned to me] UNLESS you [do X].” We might be shown the door rather quickly. For those of us in the military it would definitely be a Bad Idea to say such things. Bad Things would definitely happen. It would not be pretty.

And so who are we to do the same to God? Because I’ve said such things before, haven’t you? “I know, God, you want me to do X, but I don’t want to or I’m afraid to, so I’m not going to UNLESS….”

“I won’t obey UNLESS….” This is pride and arrogance. It is presumption. It is the attitude of “You’re not the boss of me,” that lurks in each of our souls. It is dictating terms to God. It is trying to bargain, to manipulate, to control. It is rebellion. And it is not our right. Not if God truly is sovereign and lord. If He is the boss, then we are not. It’s that simple.

So now I am left with my response. How will I respond? When God asks me to do something, especially those things that frighten me, that require faith of me, will I be like Barak and say, “No, I can’t do it. I won’t do it, no UNLESS…” or will I be like Gideon and in spite of my fears and insecurities latch onto the promise of God to be with me, knowing that no matter how frightening and daunting the task if God, the Eternal One, the Infinite One, The Lord of Hosts, is with me, then I will be all right, that nothing can hurt me?

I won’t obey UNLESS….

or

God is with me. Immanu-el. I know that somehow everything will be all right.

They were both men of faith. Both had to believe something huge from God. Both had to overcome their fears. And both were successful. But if we wish to play manipulative games with God, the outcome won’t be as satisfying. It will be less full of honor than it would have been otherwise. So it is better to trust God from the beginning, even if it is fearful, doubting trust, as Gideon’s was. God is with us, O mighty people of valor. Go in this might of yours and accomplish what God has asked of you.

How about you? Which do you choose?

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    Today is the start of December.  Around base Christmas trees are going up.  They put a big one up outside last week.  Sometime this coming week they are going to have a tree lighting ceremony/party during which you can get your picture taken with Santa and the Christmas camel.  I didn’t even know there was a Christmas camel.  Move over, Rudolph.

They also have several inside the Nex (Navy Exchange–a store)/food court building.  Another was set up but undecorated as yet.  So it’s definitely looking like Christmas around here, at least on base.  I have a small tree, but won’t set it up until later.  I haven’t decided when exactly.

When I was a kid my family didn’t have a set date on which we set up our tree.  But it was always a couple of weeks at least before Christmas.  And then we took it down either before New Year’s Day or right after.  We never left it up in January.  My Mom told me once that my Dad’s Mom left their tree up until February.  They both thought that was too long.

Me, I don’t know how long I’ll leave my tree up.  I’ve always thought the season ended with Epiphany on January 6, The Feast of the Wise Men.  This is also when the Orthodox church celebrates Christmas, and the end of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” as immortalized in the song (it starts on Christmas Day).  I’ve always liked the idea of leaving the tree up until January 6 because then you include all the varieties of Christianity and I like the idea of celebrating the day the wise men came.  But on the other hand, you have New Year’s in-between, a holiday that has nothing to do with Christmas, and in the U.S. at least, signals that the holiday season is over.  And in the U.S. with Christmas decorations hitting stores earlier and earlier and the season officially kicking off the day after Thanksgiving and all the massive marketing done during that month, I think most people are ready for the season to be over by December 25 and don’t want to drag it out to January 6.

So what do you think?  When do you set up your Christmas tree?  And how long do you leave it up?  And do you have any traditions concerning setting up the tree?  Leave a comment and tell me what you think.

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