Big Mac Adventure or Why Rachel Shouldn't Be on the Streets

Getting supper was an adventure tonight.  It was brought on by the following thoughts:

• I don’t want to cook tonight.
• I have a coupon for McDonald’s.
• I rode my bike to work this morning, so that means I don’t have to try to drive and park on American Alley, which is where the closest McDonald’s is.

Maybe in the future I will have different thoughts, particularly about the supposed advantages to riding my bike to American Alley as opposed to driving there.  I mentioned this place in an earlier post.  It is right outside the base and is a strip of fast food stores and restaurants.  It is only about the width of a typical American residential street.  So those of you who live on such a street imagine that people park on both sides of your street.  Now imagine that people, quite a few people, are trying to drive in both directions down the street, in between the parked cars.  This is done, of course, while other cars are trying to enter and leave these parking spaces along both sides of the street and while people are getting out of said car and entering and leaving the store and crossing the street, etc.  And also, don’t forget about the poor foreign workers who are trying to earn a few dinars by washing cars or selling watches.  Now imagine that in addition to all that there is construction going on.  There’s always construction going on, seemingly everywhere in Bahrain.  And for some reason, the Bahraini government/road people, in their infinite wisdom, decided to put a concrete divider in the middle of the road near the end of it near the base.  As a result of all this it is hard to avoid hitting people or other cars when driving down this road even when you are going slow.  And it is not uncommon to have to slow down to 5 miles an hour on this road.  Oh, and I didn’t mention that the intersections of this road don’t have any traffic control devices: no stoplights, no stop signs, no yield signs, nothing.  Of course if there were stop signs that doesn’t mean anyone would heed them.  But Bahraini driving is a topic for another time.

So now maybe you can understand why I don’t like to drive on this road, especially if I were trying to find parking (the very limited parking there is is always full) and especially since I don’t really know how to parallel park.  Those who know my driving record can really understand why I might not want to try to drive and park on this street.

So I thought, I’ll use my bike.  Then I don’t have to worry about parking.  I can ride on the sidewalk; it’ll be fine.

First, I have to get to the corner.  I misjudge that there is more room between a group of people standing around talking and the bus that is approaching straight at me.  (Did I mention that I have really bad peripheal vision and distance/depth perception as a result of the thick glasses I wear?  My husband thinks that is why I have such a bad driving record.  He may be right.)  So it turns out there wasn’t as much room as I thought, and so the bus has to slow way down, and I end up basically walking my bike between it and the people.

Then I go to ride through the taxi stand that’s at the corner so I can cut behind the dumpster there and get on the “sidewalk” between the buildings and parked cars of American Alley.  No such luck.  The dumpster is gone, and they’ve got that whole area blocked off and torn up.  I don’t know why.  The Bahrainis are always building new buildings and tearing up the streets around the old ones.  Again, I have no idea why.  I think they can’t not tear something up.  So I swerve to avoid the construction which means I have to swerve to avoid this big green truck sitting there.  This means I ride out into the street.  This is at an intersection where traffing is going three ways, one of the ways has the divided concrete barrier thing, and there are no stop signs or anything.  Cars just go when they think they’ve got a chance to.

Fortunately I don’t have to cross the traffic as McDonald’s is on the side I’m already on.  So I ride in the street with parked cars on one side of me and moving cars on the other.  Now technically I’m on the wrong side of the street because all the cars are coming towards me, but there is no way I’m going to cross the street, ride on the right side like I’m “supposed” to, and then cross back over when I reach McDonald’s.  I look for an opening in the parked cars so I can ride up onto the sidewalk.  What I see is a ditch, a gutter, between the road and the sidewalk.  I realize I’ll have to stop the bike, lift it up, and lift it over the ditch.  I ride along until I get to a dirt section.  The dirt section used to be part of the sidewalk back when I got hear in June 2007.  It was all bricked over and was like a patio with tables and chairs.  Then for some unknown to me reason they pulled up all the bricks except for a narrow strip along the buildings.  So now there’s dirt areas which are empty except for the motorcycles of the restaurant delivery people (all fast food restaurants deliver in Bahrain, including McDonald’s).  What they ought to do is take away the curb and the ditch and let people park there.  They could put angled striping in and that way they could get more cars in and that would ease some of the congestion of the road.  But unfortunately the Bahraini road people, in their infinite wisdom, are simply not that bright.

So I rode up onto the dirt area, lifted my bike over the ditch, and proceeded to ride along the sidewalk until I got to McDonald’s.  When I got there I looked around for some place to stash my bike but there wasn’t one.  Nor was there really anywhere to lock it up at.  I stood there thinking for a bit and then decided to see if I could take it inside.  I didn’t know if I was allowed to, but I didn’t want to leave it unlocked outside either, even though I didn’t expect to be long.  So I opened the door of the restaurant and this guy standing just inside actually helps me bring my bike inside!  He said, “You want to bring your bike inside?” and he held the door while I did.  So that was interesting.

So I ordered my food.  This went without incident.  By the way, in case you were curious, when you order a value meal here you get a small drink and small fries (the box, not the bag).  If you want medium you pay extra for it.  So when I got my food I put the bag inside my bookbag and the cup into the mesh cupholder on the outside of my bag.  Fast food cups don’t usually ride too well in the mesh cupholder and today proved no exception.

So I rode my bike back down the sidewalk toward home.  When I got to the end of the street, I lifted my bike over the ditch and got on it to ride home.  Again, I was between parked cars and moving cars.  Well, just as I was almost to the construction, I happened to pass too close to this customer at the DVD man’s table.  The DVD man, for those who are interested, sells movies for real cheap–but they bootlegged, i.e. the kind that haven’t “duly compensated the artist(s) for their work.”  They’d be illegal in the U.S. in other words.  Here, maybe technically illegal too, I’m not sure.  Anyway, when I brushed by this man the cup fell out of my bookbag’s cupholder.  I heard it fall and manage to get my bike stopped and parked several feet on, next to one of the construction barricades.  So here I am, getting off my bike in the middle of a busy street, kicking down the kickstand, and going back to get my drink, which this guy graciously picked up and is holding out to me, looking rather bewildered.

So I put it back in my bookbag–same place–there is no other place, and I can’t ride a bike one-handed–the last time I tried that I fell down, rather spectacularly.  I ride the rest of the way home and as I am transiting the parking lot under my apartment building I nearly get run over by this car transiting the same parking lot a little too fast.  So I thought I was home safe, right?

Wrong.  I entered the elevator without incident.  I ride up to my floor without incident.  Now you need to know that I have my bicycle with me in the elevator.  This is because I always take it up to my apartment, ever since another person who used to live in this same apartment building told me he got his bike stolen even though it was parked outside and locked up at the time.  Besides, if you leave your bike outside it gets real dusty.  You also need to know that the elevator is small enough that the only way the bike fits is if you put it in diagonally, which means you have to wheel it in and then lift the back end around to make it fit.  Reverse the process for getting out.

So everything went fine until I tried to get out of the elevator.  I had my bike halfway out of the elevator when for some reason the lid of my cup popped part way off and the coke inside started to spill on the floor.  I had my hands full of bike, so I didn’t know if it was completely emptying or what.  I propped the bike against the open elevator doors and slipped my bookbag off one shoulder so I could reach the side mesh pocket where my cup was.  I replaced the lid, but by this time the elevator was tired of its doors being opened.  It also, as it turned out, had been requested by another floor.  But it can’t shut its doors because the bike was in the way.  And I don’t want my bike to get squished, so I push the “open door” button on the elevator.  And I kept pushing it because the elevator doors kept trying to close.  So what we had for a few seconds was a confused elevator, a frustrated human, elevator doors going open and shut, open and shut, against a bike half in and half out, propped against what has now become a moving support, and with coke all over the floor of the elevator.  I was having trouble getting the bike out of the elevator because of the doors moving.  I’d try to move the bike and they’d try to close and I’d get scared I’d get squished (even though I know they won’t close on my–still, I didn’t want them to touch me), and so I’d pushe the button to open the door which worked only long enough to grab the bike but not quite move it.  It was definitely frustrating.  (I had a very stressful day at work today, so stress levels were already way high.)

When I got the bike out of the elevator and realized the kickstand was down I had trouble getting it back up.  If the pedal is in the down position on that side it gets caught under the pedal and I can’t get it up.  So with a cup of coke in one hand I have to literally pick the bike up and move it back a few feet so I can “pedal” the pedal forward a few feet so the kickstand can be free to come up.  And then when I finally got to my apartment I realized my keys were in my bookbag.  Not wanting to put my kickstand down and have trouble with it again, I prop my bike against my leg, take off my bookbag, prop my bookbag against the bike (remember the coke is in my other hand), and with the same hand that is holding the bookbag unzip the pocket, did in it, find the keys, zip the pocket back up so other stuff doesn’t fall out, and then put the bookbag back on my back and then unlock my door.

As you can imagine I was glad to get inside and park my bike, take off my bookbag, and eat my supper.  It turned out I had about two thirds of the coke left, so that was good.  Now the question is, was all that worth it for a Big Mac?  Even if the entire meal was only 1 dinar ($2.66) (I told you I had a coupon)?

And hey, guess what?  No scratches, bruises, or anything on me.  That’s great, huh?  And the Big Mac was good.  I hope your meals are not as eventful.  Mine usually aren’t either.  Anyone think I should ride my bike down to American Alley again sometime?